Dadah, Adek. You are My Inspiration

Today I'm letting you go. With all people that love and cherish you. Segala penyesalan sudah saya titipkan ke Allah. Saya ikhlaskan yg sudah dan belum saya lakukan untukmu. Semoga Husnul khatimah, Adek. We love you.

Bersyukur dan Bersabar

List kerjaan cecemere, sebel ngerjainnya, tapi bersyukur dapet gajinya.

Saya bersyukur karena masih selalu bersyukur. 

Saya senang bekerja disini saat ini. Saya ikhlas. Saya merasa diberkahi.

Menitipkannya bersama Tuhan

Ya ayyatuhannafsul muthmainnah

Irji i ila robbiki rodliyatammardliyyah

Fadkhulii fi ibadi wadkhulii jannatii

Shadaqallahul ‘azhim

Thursday 5 AM

At this point, I'm aware that I have given too many at my disposal and I'm afraid that I'm taking it for granted. 

This is how I realized it, at the same time, my thought went, I have a headache, this means good, because finally my body realizing the cold and flu invasion. And then it continued, I need to put together the tab and book cover that I just bought. Oh and I need to reimburse that. And then, Dini's new clothes should be taken care of. And then, presentation for this afternoon is not done. And so on. Bagus got flu, cough and there was fever. Too many at my plate at the same time. I'm thankful but I'm overwhelmed.

5:02 PM

Stuck at the office, at my little cubicle, loving and worrying every minute of it. Please God give me Your love and strength, to embrace and to find the true meaning of all this nonsense, LOL.

Work is great, because God is there. Here in your mind and heart. In every corner of your eyesight, every beam of your thoughts. Then, now, tomorrow, and forever, hopefully.

Overwhelmed

Bismillah

Ya Allah, begitu banyak yg ingin aku bekalkan untuk anak2. Masa kecil yang kaya pengalaman dan pembelajaran, yang bahagia, yang berkah, yang memenuhi hati dan sanubari mereka akan kebesaran-Mu, akan kasih sayang-Mu.

Ya Allah, begitu banyak kekuranganku, kelalaianku, kemalasanku. Begitu besar penyesalanku dan ketakutanku. Ketakutan akan masa depan saat ini menghantuiku, ketakutan akan kecukupan.

Astaghfirullah sungguh begitu banyak nikmat-Mu yang aku dustakan. Begitu besar kasih sayang-Mu yang aku lupakan. Bawa aku mendekat-Mu ya Allah, beri aku pikiran yang lapang, hati yang lapang, jiwa dan sanubari yang jernih, yang bisa melihat ke depan, kepada kecukupan dan kasih-Mu yang tidak pernah kurang. Kepada perasaan utuh, puas, bahagia sejati yang hanya milik-Mu. Karuniakan kami sekeluarga hidup yang berkah ya Allah. Amiin.

God is generous, so I am still persistently walking

Passing week 9, semester 2 in the University of Melbourne. Sitting on campus bench since 8.30 in the morning. Typing and typing, because assignments are due. Missing my little one, which I left this morning with scrambled carrot egg and rice for her brekkie. Life is so demanding, I can hardly coupe. But God is generous, so I am still persistently walking.

Wondering how I am gonna get through the last semester. Will I ever miss Melbourne? Will I regret anything that I haven't done here? Will I live a better life back home? Life is so demanding, I can hardly coupe. But God is generous, so I am still persistently walking.

Sampai ketemu lagi di Indonesia!

The Day is coming near. The heart is racing. The anticipation is high. And the preparation still running like crazy. I have to drop many things that lately considered as unnecessary as the time is limited and the list keeps add up.

Dadah Mbah, Mpok, Tante. Dini pergi dulu nemenin Ibu kuliah. Dadah taman komplek, BP, Giant, kuda, odong-odong, ikan. Insya Allah Dini pulang 1.5 tahun lagi. Dadah Anan, Khansa, Khaisa (or whoever her real name is), Mas Fauzan. Main lagi sama Dini kalo sudah pulang ya.

Dan saya mewek.

Ahh, pengorbanan anak dimulai sejak kecil. Harus rela diangkut kemanapun ortunya nyangkut. Semoga pilihan saya tidak salah. Semoga Allah ridhoi semua. Semoga lancar semua. Semoga ridho semua. Semoga berkah. Semoga sehat semua di tanah air dan kami di negeri orang.

Sampai ketemu lagi di Indonesia!