Realizing The Best Is Never Easy

Warning, this post was written under great influence of Post MS. Bear with it, please ^^.

I'm not entitled to own any heart, not yours, not anyone. I am here with a long live hope to come near to your heart. But I guess right now, I know that's not supposed to be. Then my whole live hope should be changed. I am not what I used to. I can't be. Then I wonder what should I be. May be this is why I keep postpone this thought inside. When I brought this up like this, the thought of it is so confusing, I'm exhausted already. I don't know what will I be.

May be I should go back to where I began. To the pure thought I had when I knew nothing. To embrace any destiny that comes. Like what I did. It's hard. Because now I know not anything you want will come true. Not even if you fight for it. I had a hard time and will be having it for time to come. I need to pray hard so that I don't loose common sense. To spot any blessing in life that I might missed before. To know that I could found a heart, to accompany mine.

Your heart is always special to me, yours and others. But I guess that's just it.

Well for you who don't know me well, I feel like I have to explain this. Otherwise you might find me weird, hard to approach and live in my own world (on the second thought, errr, it might be right). But no, I don't feel myself as this kind of person. Not when I'm not in my monthly syndrome, not like this time.

Actually this Post MS is not that bad though. I become a little sensitive and introspective. Because I'm originally not like that, I find it special so I decide to write it down. It might be useful (somehow) for the future me.

And the last thing I want from this writing is to get wrong thought from someone who doesn't know me. Believe me, I am not always like this (am I?).